The Black Dog Returns
Hubby and I had an interesting conversation today. Apparently he's is concerned that I'm once again looking into the eyes of that dreaded black dog - depression. Now, this isn't and won't be my first or last rodeo, but in all honesty I think he might be right. As hard as that is to admit it, it's harder to realise that I let it slip past my radar. I've been hyper-vigilant about my mental state for years now, and know that I will never truly be rid of depression.
For those who are reading this, this isn't a cry for help or a need for sympathy; rather, it's a reflection on just how easy it is to slip back into that darkness.
Generally there are warning signals that I look for, or that present themselves before I get too deep. This time I thought I was staying above it, but I guess I didn't do as well as I thought I did. It only took one event to trigger a downward spiral, one event that had my anger boiling to the surface before dragging me down. This was followed by another series of events, and before I knew it I was back below the surface. Not to worry though, there are plans I have in place that will allow me to cope and eventually heal.
Below are a few things I try to do when I notice my anxiety is up and I've begun to sink below the murky surface:
Try to figure out and eliminate the things that have me stressed.
Get moving. I recently started back to Crossfit (or MCT45). I've also been doing slow rides with the hubby and kiddies.
Eat healthier. Yeah I'm a sucker for chocolate, but I try to stay away from sugary foods, it doesn't always work, but I keep trying.
Try to shift the way I look at things. If I'm struggling to stay afloat, it generally means I've gotten back into the habit of thinking negatively. A good friend opened my eyes to the wonderful world of mindfulness. Guess I need a refresher.
Sleep 8-9hrs a night, no more or less. For me this has been hard to achieve lately. Having a teething almost toddler makes this a bit hard; but I cherish my sleep when I get it. I've even started going to bed earlier to compensate for this.
Try to find at least one thing that is just for me. Yup, I suck at this.
If none of these things work, head on back to my psychologist.
Well, I'm off to work on a couple of these things. Here's to all of you going through something similar, work on your own list, figure out what is good for you. Oh, and if you're struggling, don't be afraid to admit it and seek help. You are not less, but more.
